It has been 3 years without my mom. It feels like just yesterday and a million years ago — all at once. What I didn’t understand about grief is that you feel it during the big moments - the milestones, the birthdays, the holidays, but that I miss her and often feel it most in the everyday. 
Putting on a piece of her jewelry. Eating her favorite candy. Hearing a song she loved. I once heard someone say grief is just unexpressed love, and I couldn’t believe it to me more true.
Every time I want to call her.
Every time I wish she could meet me at the park with Greyson or go on just one more shopping trip with me.
Every time I think, “She should be here for this.” I feel that pain. The grief. The longing. 
Before my mom passed, she told me she would send me butterflies. A few months ago, while visiting a butterfly pavilion in Denver with my cousin, this gorgeous butterfly landed on me—and just stayed. It was like her giving me the hug I so terribly miss.
I knew. I felt her. I saw the sign. Grief evolves. It never leaves. It sits quietly in your heart forever. Time just teaches you how to live alongside the missing. It doesn’t hurt less—it just becomes part of you.
And I’d give anything for one more day.
One more hug. One more phone call about absolutely nothing.
It feels like just yesterday I said goodbye, and yet somehow… it feels like a lifetime since I hugged her. If you’re walking through loss, if you’ve felt the weight of grief—I see you. It’s a club you never want to be in, and yet one that we will all be apart of. I’m with you. And I hope this reminds you: you’re not alone. If you are lucky enough to not know this pain …. Hug your people. Be present. Say what you need to say. Because we never know how long we have. Mom, to say I miss you would never truly express 3 years of unexpressed love. Until we meet again, I’ll keep looking for the butterflies. Love you and miss you.🦋🤍griefjourney griefislove missingyoualways grief