Walking into @walmart for a fall try-on session is like entering a fashion wonderland where flannel meets fleece, and pumpkin spice dreams are made. You start by trying on a sweater that feels like you’re being hugged by a thousand miniature teddy bears, then move on to jeans that somehow make you look like a lumberjack—if lumberjacks were known for wearing jeggings. You grab a beanie that makes you look like a hipster pumpkin, only to realize it’s meant for toddlers. By the time you’re in the fitting room, you’re wearing a mishmash of oversized plaid shirts, thermal socks that could double as leg warmers, and a pair of boots that make you feel ready to stomp through every leaf pile in the parking lot. As you leave, you catch your reflection and think, “Did I just become the human embodiment of a pumpkin patch?”
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